Last post was some time back. Nothing has changed. I still feel admitted and abandoned.
Yes I do take the pressure off them when I say.."never mind" I can do without thus and such"; or keep the phone calls short .
I know whom to ask for what I need;they will go out of their way to bring me what I need.Which only causes me to wonder why the others can't do the same? How hard is it to say "can I bring you anything"? "What do you need"?
This is my last post on this subject. It is beating a dead horse so to speak.
But I must say.....what must my future be like when I NEED help for longer and more in depth? I fear the thought.
11/9/12
Where have all the "good friends and family gone"??
I have never felt so abandoned in my life. I was just told by a grandson that he couldnt call me right now because he is watching a movie.I'm in the freaking hospital!! Otherwise I wouldn't bother you.
None of the others have called to ck on me; no one can make an effort to come see me. How many years did I sacrifice driving miles to bring a little love; sending requests for food etc??? Yes you CAN get here and PISS on WB. Where is the looove from"monet"; they could help you get here.
But it seems you don't want to come; why? is it such a bother? you huff and puff when I simply asked you to gather my nail polish; and I give in and tell you; never mind i'll ask someone else to do it.
I did not ask to be here ;I do not want to be here.I want to be home; well and living my life.
I realize you are doing what you dont want to but I feel you are taking it out on me for some reason.
I also realize I am broken; in many ways; but I am trying to be a wife and partner and companion and such as it is; a lover. YES I KNOW you too are in pain; I feel your pain;and wish I could stop it;or help it.
I held each of you as you took your first breaths; thanking God for you and vowing to love and guide you as best as I could. I have sacrificed for you;cried for you;loved on you;bragged on you and tried to help you avoid pot holes of life;not always successful but ;always there for you.
I was told that no one calls because they are afraid I will ask something of them!!!
Well who the hell am I supposed to ask? You feel someone isnt doing what they should or could do more so you do nothing in spite.
I do not understand I am MOTHER...WIFE...NEENY....FRIEND
Where the hell has my family gone??
I can see my future; if now is any indication. And I cry broken tears of being tossed aside; no time for me as your lives are so full and you can't even sacrifice a pack of smokes just to have gas money to come visit me? I sacrificed food so you could eat; I sold everything of value to keep you in a house;food,clothes or some piddling gift at Christmas.
Words can't describe how deeply wounded I am; how tossed aside I feel or stop the tears that burn my eyes.
